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RIGHTS OF PARENTS

 

Islam has ordered the children to obey their parents and to behave well with them. This is declared as an obligatory act. Allah Almighty says:

وَقَضَى رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوا إِلَّا إِيَّاهُ وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا إِمَّا يَبْلُغَنَّ عِنْدَكَ الْكِبَرَ أَحَدُهُمَا أَوْ كِلَاهُمَا فَلَا تَقُلْ لَهُمَا أُفٍّ وَلَا تَنْهَرْهُمَا وَقُلْ لَهُمَا قَوْلًا كَرِيمًا (23) وَاخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ الذُّلِّ مِنَ الرَّحْمَةِ وَقُلْ رَبِّ ارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِي صَغِيرًا (24) (الإسراء 23،24)

Translation of Meaning: “Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me in childhood.’” (Sura Al-Israa, Verse 23-24)

Someone asked Fudhail Bin Ayadh about good behaviour with parents. He replied saying “Serve them all the time even if you are tired, do not raise your voice in front of them, do not look at them with contempt, be sure that you would not commit a mistake internally or externally about them, have mercy on them till they are alive and when they die then pray for their forgiveness.”

Islam has forbidden disobeying one’s parents. The Prophet (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:

أَلاَ أُنَبِّئُكُمْ بِأَكْبَرِ الكَبَائِرِ» قُلْنَا: بَلَى يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، قَالَ: ” الإِشْرَاكُ بِاللَّهِ، وَعُقُوقُ الوَالِدَيْن (البخاري ، مسلم).

Translation: “Shall I not inform you about the major sins?” The Companions (RadhiAllahu Anhum) said: “Yes, O the Prophet (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) of Allah!” The Prophet (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “To associate someone with Allah and to disobey your parents.” (Bukhari, Muslim)

For her respect, Islam has affirmed the status of a mother and acknowledged her position by keeping her status higher than the status of a father as it is mentioned in a Hadith:

قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ: مَنْ أَبَرُّ؟ ” قَالَ: أُمَّكَ، ثُمَّ أُمَّكَ، ثُمَّ أُمَّكَ، ثُمَّ أَبَاكَ، ثُمَّ الْأَقْرَبَ، فَالْأَقْرَبَ ”  (الترمذي ، أبو داوود)

Translation: I said: Messenger of Allah! to whom should I show kindness? He replied: Your mother, next your mother, next your mother, and then comes your father, and then your relatives in order of relationship.” (Tirmizi, Abu Dawood)

THE POSITION OF ENJOYMENT IN A MUSLIM FAMILY

It is permitted to enjoy and have fun by the right means in a Muslim family. It is mentioned in a Hadith:

عَنْ عَائِشَةَ، رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا، أَنَّهَا كَانَتْ مَعَ النَّبِيِّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ فِي سَفَرٍ قَالَتْ: فَسَابَقْتُهُ فَسَبَقْتُهُ عَلَى رِجْلَيَّ، فَلَمَّا حَمَلْتُ اللَّحْمَ سَابَقْتُهُ فَسَبَقَنِي فَقَالَ: «هَذِهِ بِتِلْكَ السَّبْقَةِ» (أبو داوود).

Translation: “It is reported by Hazrat Ayesha (RadhiAllahu Anha) when she was with the Prophet (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) on a journey. She said: “I participated in a race with Prophet (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) and I won. Then later I got frumpy. Then I took part in another race with Prophet (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam). This time he won. Then he said: “Today’s victory is the payback of the previous defeat.”(Abu Dawood)

In another Hadith it is mentioned:

عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا، قَالَتْ: قَالَ لِي رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: «إِنِّي لَأَعْلَمُ إِذَا كُنْتِ عَنِّي رَاضِيَةً، وَإِذَا كُنْتِ عَلَيَّ غَضْبَى» قَالَتْ: فَقُلْتُ: مِنْ أَيْنَ تَعْرِفُ ذَلِكَ؟ فَقَالَ: ” أَمَّا إِذَا كُنْتِ عَنِّي رَاضِيَةً، فَإِنَّكِ تَقُولِينَ: لاَ وَرَبِّ مُحَمَّدٍ، وَإِذَا كُنْتِ عَلَيَّ غَضْبَى، قُلْتِ: لاَ وَرَبِّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ ” قَالَتْ: قُلْتُ: أَجَلْ وَاللَّهِ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ، مَا أَهْجُرُ إِلَّا اسْمَكَ  (البخاري ، مسلم).

Translation: “It is reported by Hazrat Ayesha that Allah’s Messenger (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) said to her, “I know when you are pleased with me or angry with me.” I said, “Whence do you know that?” He said, “When you are pleased with me, you say, لاَ وَرَبِّ مُحَمَّدٍ  ‘No, by the Lord of Muhammad,’ but when you are angry with me, then you say, لاَ وَرَبِّ إِبْرَاهِيمَ ‘No, by the Lord of Abraham.’ ” Thereupon I said, “Yes (you are right), but by Allah, O Allah’s Messenger (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam), I leave nothing but your name.”(Bukhari, Muslim) An Ethiopian delegation came to visit Prophet (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam). Then

some sports started in the courtyard of the mosque. Hazrat Ayesha (RadhiAllahu Anha) described this event in these words:

عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا، قَالَتْ: «رَأَيْتُ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ يَسْتُرُنِي بِرِدَائِهِ، وَأَنَا أَنْظُرُ إِلَى الحَبَشَةِ يَلْعَبُونَ فِي المَسْجِدِ، حَتَّى أَكُونَ أَنَا الَّتِي أَسْأَمُ» (البخاري)

Translation: The Prophet (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) was screening me with his Rida’ (garment covering the upper part of the body) while I was looking at the Ethiopians who were playing in the courtyard of the mosque. (I continued watching) till I was satisfied. (Bukhari)

There is a similar incident like this that two girls were playing in the mosque and Hazrat Ayesha (RadhiAllahu Anha) was watching them from above the shoulder of the Prophet (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam), so the Prophet (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:

«لِتَعْلَمَ يَهُودُ أَنَّ فِي دِينِنَا فُسْحَةً إِنِّي أُرْسِلْتُ بِحَنِيفِيَّةٍ سَمْحَةٍ» (مسند أحمد)

Translation: “The Jews should know this that there is much room and capacity in our religion and I am specially sent with the nation of Hazrat Ibraheem (R.A).”(Musnad Ahmed)

It is reported by Hazrat Hanzala (RadhiAllahu Anhu):

كُنَّا عِنْدَ رَسُولِ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، فَوَعَظَنَا، فَذَكَّرَ النَّارَ، قَالَ: ثُمَّ جِئْتُ إِلَى الْبَيْتِ فَضَاحَكْتُ الصِّبْيَانَ وَلَاعَبْتُ الْمَرْأَةَ، قَالَ: فَخَرَجْتُ فَلَقِيتُ أَبَا بَكْرٍ فَذَكَرْتُ ذَلِكَ لَهُ، فَقَالَ: وَأَنَا قَدْ فَعَلْتُ مِثْلَ مَا تَذْكُرُ، فَلَقِينَا رَسُولَ اللهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ، فَقُلْتُ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ نَافَقَ حَنْظَلَةُ فَقَالَ: «مَهْ» فَحَدَّثْتُهُ بِالْحَدِيثِ، فَقَالَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ: وَأَنَا قَدْ فَعَلْتُ مِثْلَ مَا فَعَلَ، فَقَالَ: «يَا حَنْظَلَةُ سَاعَةً وَسَاعَةً، وَلَوْ كَانَتْ تَكُونُ قُلُوبُكُمْ كَمَا تَكُونُ عِنْدَ الذِّكْرِ، لَصَافَحَتْكُمُ الْمَلَائِكَةُ، حَتَّى تُسَلِّمَ عَلَيْكُمْ فِي الطُّرُقِ»،

Translation: We were in the company of Allah’s Messenger (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) and he delivered to us a sermon and made a mention of Hell-Fire. Then I came to my house and began to laugh with my children and sport with my wife. (Hanzala) further reported: I went out and met Abu Bakr and made a mention of that to him. Thereupon he said: I have done the same as you have mentioned. So we went to see Allah’s Messenger (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) and said to him: Allah’s Messenger, Hanzala has turned to be a hypocrite. And he (the Holy Prophet) said Show respite. And then I narrated to him

the story, and Abu Bakr said: I have done the same as he has done. Thereupon he (the Holy Prophet) said: Hanzala, there is a time for worldly affairs and a time for (worship and devotion), and if your state of mind is always the same as it is at the time of remembrance of Allah, the Angels would shake hands with you and would greet you on the path by saying: As-Salamu-Alaikum.” (Muslim)

It is included in a Muslim family to participate in permissible sports, to play ‘Duf’ (beating on drum) on the occasion of marriage and say those Islamic verses which persuade towards doing well because it gives happiness.

TO BEHAVE WELL WITH THE RELATIVES OF SPOUSES IN ISLAM:

In Islam, the concept of family life is not restricted to just husband, wife and children but relatives are also included. The relatives of the spouses are included in the new family. The mother of the husband is of the same level as of the mother of the wife for her; similarly, the mother of the wife is of the same level as of the mother of the husband for him, This is why, Islam has ordered the husband to behave well with the relatives of the wife, and the same order goes to the wife as well. It strengthens the bonds of love, blessings and family relations.

These are some of the rules of Islamic culture in terms of a Muslim family which makes it distinctive from other cultures.

If we take a glance at the family system of the western society in the contemporary era, we come to know that family sacredness and its peace is not secured in the western society. Not in the way, as in which Islam has secured the family sacredness, by binding it within the boundaries of modesty and chastity. Instead, adultery is common in the western society and illegal children are found in abundance. It is sad to note that some Muslims have acquired the education and the theories in many aspects of the western society, because of their ignorance and less knowledge about the Islamic culture. Therefore, the Islamic society became the target of family conflicts and disruptions, and the worse results of which are eminent from the behaviour of many youngsters. Even many of them rejected getting the religious education. Such things are being done in the Muslim families which are against the Islamic teachings and ethical values. On the other hand, the western society and the enemies of Islam are acquiring the family system of Islam

because they know that there is the solution in Islam for the development of the society and for the betterment of its mutual relations.

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