THE UPBRINGING AND TRAINING CHILDREN IN ISLAMIC CULTURE
Children are the blessings of Allah one which one must be grateful to Allah. The gratefulness in its true sense may be expressed through children’s upbringing and training according to the right belief, high morals and values of Islam. The Prophet (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:
«مَا مِنْ مَوْلُودٍ إِلَّا يُولَدُ عَلَى الفِطْرَةِ، فَأَبَوَاهُ يُهَوِّدَانِهِ أَوْ يُنَصِّرَانِهِ، أَوْ يُمَجِّسَانِهِ (البخاري، مسلم)
Translation: “No child is born except on Al-Fitra (Islam) and then his parents make him Jewish, Christian or Magian” (Bukhari, Muslim)
RIGHTS OF CHILDREN ON FATHER:
Islam has cared a lot about the upbringing of children. Some rights are of children and some rights are of parents. The rights of children are as follows:
- 1. TO SELECT A PIOUS WIFE: It is the responsibility of a father to choose a pious wife for his kids so that the mother can give right Islamic training to their kids, as a result of which the kids would be able to fulfill the responsibilities of Islam and perform its objectives.
- 2. TO RELIEVE THE CHILDREN FROM PROBLEMS: Its form is that when the child is born, call the Azaan in his/her right ear and Iqamat in the left ear as it is given in a Hadith:
عَنْ عُبَيْدِ اللَّهِ بْنِ أَبِي رَافِعٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، قَالَ: رَأَيْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ «أَذَّنَ فِي أُذُنِ الْحَسَنِ بْنِ عَلِيٍّ حِينَ وَلَدَتْهُ فَاطِمَةُ بِالصَّلَاةِ» (الترمذي ، أبو داوود)
Translation: “It is reported by Hazrat Abu Rafay (RadhiAllahu Anhu): ‘I saw the Prophet (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) that he called Azaan, similar to the Azaan of prayer, to the ear of Hazrat Hassan (RadhiAllahu Anhu), when he was born to Hazrat Fatima (RadhiAllahu Anha).” (Tirmizi, Abu Dawood)
Other than this, it is obligatory on a father to defend his child when he faces any worldly and religious risk.
- 3. TO GIVE THE BEST NAME TO HIS CHILD: The Prophet (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:
«إِنَّ مِنْ أَحْسَنِ أَسْمَائِكُمْ عَبْدَ اللَّهِ، وَعَبْدَ الرَّحْمَنِ» (أحمد)
Translation: “The best names are Abdullah and Abdul Rahman.” (Ahmed)
Islam has forbidden giving bad names because a person feels bad because of having bad name, whereas he feels good by good names as it is the way by which one can follow Prophets (Alaihim Assalam) and the Sualeheen (The Pious People).
- 4. ISLAM HAS MADE IT MASHROO (Rightful) TO PERFORM AQEEQAH (Birth Sacrifice) ON THE SEVENTH DAY OF BIRTH:
If someone is financially able, he should sacrifice, on the seventh day of birth, two animals from a boy and one animal from a girl. In this, needy and poor people, relatives and good people are invited, which increases affection and brotherhood among Muslims and the child is relieved from any problem. It is Sunnah to trim hair before Aqeeqa (Birth Sacrifice).
- 5. TO DO Khitan (CIRCUMCISION): The Prophet (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:
«الْفِطْرَةُ خَمْسٌ – أَوْ خَمْسٌ مِنَ الْفِطْرَةِ – الْخِتَانُ، وَالِاسْتِحْدَادُ، وَتَقْلِيمُ الْأَظْفَارِ، وَنَتْفُ الْإِبِطِ، وَقَصُّ الشَّارِبِ» (البخاري ،مسلم)
Translation: There are five acts which conform to the pure nature: Circumcision, removing of the pubic hair, clipping the nails, plucking the underarm hair and trimming the moustache.” (Bukhari, Muslim)
- 6. NaFaQAh (EXPENSES): Till the time when the children are in the care of the father, their food, expenses and financial responsibilities are obligatory on their father whether they are boys or girls so that they would not go astray and be away from bad deeds.
The Prophet (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:
” كَفَى بِالْمَرْءِ إِثْمًا أَنْ يُضَيِّعَ مَنْ يَقُوتُ ” (مسند أحمد)
Translation: “It is enough for a man to be a sinner that he wastes his or his subjects’ or relatives’ sustenance/ earning.” (Abu Dawood).
- 7. TO DO JUSTICE AMONG CHILDREN: If some children are preferred over the others, then diseases like hatred, jealousy and envy are born which worsen the family relations.
- 8. TO GIVE THE RIGHT EDUCATION AND TRAINING TO CHILDREN: It is the duty of the parents to give the right education and training to their kids. The Prophet (SallAllahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:
” إِنَّ اللَّهَ سَائِلٌ كُلَّ رَاعٍ عَمَّا اسْتَرْعَاهُ ، حَفِظَ ذَلِكَ أَمْ ضَيَّعَِ “(الترمذي)
Translation: “Allah will ask every caretaker about his subjects, of which he was made the caretaker, as to whether he protects it or destroys it.” (Tirmizi)